Random Droppings

Today we got an email from our dear son's Reading teacher (this is a "gifted and talented" class). This is the first time this school year -- which began in, oh, September -- that she has spontaneously generated any communication with us.

Did this missive discuss ways to help our GT/LD son do better in her class? No, it did not.

Did her communication respond to any of our previous emails/discussions? No, it did not.

No, what she found so compelling and so important to write about was this:
"I was writing because BH* borrowed an idiom book from me today to look through during [free time] and he never returned it. I had borrowed this book from a colleague so it is important that I get it back. Is there anyway you can check with BH tonight to see where it is? I would really appreciate it."

I read this email, and the phone rang. Without even looking at the caller ID I knew who it was: my partner had just read it herself. I answered by picking up the phone and saying, "No, I don't know where the book is."

We decided that we should NOT respond like this:
(1) Dear Ms. Idiot Teacher**, thank you for finally deigning to communicate with us regarding our son. In fact, this is the very first time all school year that you've spontaneously and without provocation been the one to send an email to us. It's too bad it isn't about his grades or ways to improve them. Sincerely, Etumukutenyak and Partner.

(2) Dear Ms. Idiot Teacher, We will respond with a quote from a very famous woman (named idiot teacher): "Oh, we don't have our files in front of us. We'll have to get back to you." Sincerely, Etumukutenyak and Partner.

(3)Dear Ms. Idiot Teacher, Yes, we DO know where the book is. No, you can't have it back. Not until you help BH with his classwork. Isn't life grand? Love and kisses, Etumukutenyak and Partner.

*BH -- our dear son, the butthead who can't always get his act together.
**Idiot Teacher -- not her real name.

No, we didn't send any of those. Instead, my dear partner being the diplomatic soul that she is, she sent a gentle reminder that our son is still at the school -- even as we speak -- and will be there until quite late, as it is a special event tonight. The teacher emailed right back and thanked her.

I still think we should have used answer number 2. It would have been only fair.