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Jan. 14th, 2009 01:08 pmWell, there's an excellent post on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
matociquala's LJ, about Othering and making mistakes as a writer. Several commenters pointed out that when you fail, try again -- it isn't the failing that's bad, but the failing AND not learning from it.
Because we are all going to be different, in so many ways both large and small. If you (the writer) never acknowledge the "others", then you will never be able to grow. However, if you are the writer, it is your responsibility to learn about "others" and then to incorporate this information. It is also your responsibility to accept blame when you get it wrong, in some way.
It is true that you can never satisfy all of the people all of the time, but this is not the mantra that will save your skin. No. It is the apology, the indication that yes, you made a mistake, and you see it here, with no qualifications or hesitations that makes you a better person.
As a reader, I am othered by non-homosexuals, by non-females, by non-Jews, by strictly right-handed, by non-hard-of-hearing people, by non-middled-aged, by non-second-generation-Americans, by non-veterinarians, by non-federal employees, by non-New Yorkers and so on. When a writer captures even a small part of what it is like to be an ambidextrous, secular Jewish lesbian from NY with asmall boy teenaged son and a history that includes time in the majority non-white world of the Caribbean as well as the Deep South US, then it is a great pleasure. Otherwise I just read.
That's not to say I require books to have people with exactly those characteristics; I don't. I do like to see other places, other times, other worlds, and I do enjoy characters that have some overlap with me if not all. After all, some things are more important than others. It's not important to have characters discussing Leftie Liberation, even though North American culture is overwhelmingly right-dominant (and so is the culture of the Arabic/North African and Eastern Mediterranean countries). I live in a right-dominant world, and I coexist peacefully with many right-handed people.
Skin color is a different story. I'm pale, courtesy of my father's Irish ancestors; my mother's family of Eastern European Jews didn't give me the olive-toned skin that my brother has. He darkens at the thought of sunlight; I shudder at the thought of sunlight. I have very little protection against the dangerous sun, although I'm not an albino (with even less protection). I've been a minority, and been treated like Other based on the lack of color in my skin, and it was not at all nice. Which is an understatement, but those years and that rage is not pertinent. What is pertinent is that until we can all understand what it's like to be Different because of something so Obvious yet Minor (in terms of true importance, like honesty, responsibility, citizenship, and trust), then we can't get past it. We'll keep having these discussions in which oblivious white folks* get mad about being deprivileged, and non-white folks vent their continuing rage about being Othered, and no one progresses. When white folks actually learn what it's like as Other, then the rest of the world will finally be able to relax just a bit.
As Bear put it, the problem is obvious. The solution is much more difficult.
*This could also be men learning about women's issues, or hearing people with respect to HOH/LD or Deaf communities, or Americans learning of just about every other country/culture around, or any other privileged group taking the time to understand the rest of the world.
matociquala's LJ, about Othering and making mistakes as a writer. Several commenters pointed out that when you fail, try again -- it isn't the failing that's bad, but the failing AND not learning from it. Because we are all going to be different, in so many ways both large and small. If you (the writer) never acknowledge the "others", then you will never be able to grow. However, if you are the writer, it is your responsibility to learn about "others" and then to incorporate this information. It is also your responsibility to accept blame when you get it wrong, in some way.
It is true that you can never satisfy all of the people all of the time, but this is not the mantra that will save your skin. No. It is the apology, the indication that yes, you made a mistake, and you see it here, with no qualifications or hesitations that makes you a better person.
As a reader, I am othered by non-homosexuals, by non-females, by non-Jews, by strictly right-handed, by non-hard-of-hearing people, by non-middled-aged, by non-second-generation-Americans, by non-veterinarians, by non-federal employees, by non-New Yorkers and so on. When a writer captures even a small part of what it is like to be an ambidextrous, secular Jewish lesbian from NY with a
That's not to say I require books to have people with exactly those characteristics; I don't. I do like to see other places, other times, other worlds, and I do enjoy characters that have some overlap with me if not all. After all, some things are more important than others. It's not important to have characters discussing Leftie Liberation, even though North American culture is overwhelmingly right-dominant (and so is the culture of the Arabic/North African and Eastern Mediterranean countries). I live in a right-dominant world, and I coexist peacefully with many right-handed people.
Skin color is a different story. I'm pale, courtesy of my father's Irish ancestors; my mother's family of Eastern European Jews didn't give me the olive-toned skin that my brother has. He darkens at the thought of sunlight; I shudder at the thought of sunlight. I have very little protection against the dangerous sun, although I'm not an albino (with even less protection). I've been a minority, and been treated like Other based on the lack of color in my skin, and it was not at all nice. Which is an understatement, but those years and that rage is not pertinent. What is pertinent is that until we can all understand what it's like to be Different because of something so Obvious yet Minor (in terms of true importance, like honesty, responsibility, citizenship, and trust), then we can't get past it. We'll keep having these discussions in which oblivious white folks* get mad about being deprivileged, and non-white folks vent their continuing rage about being Othered, and no one progresses. When white folks actually learn what it's like as Other, then the rest of the world will finally be able to relax just a bit.
As Bear put it, the problem is obvious. The solution is much more difficult.
*This could also be men learning about women's issues, or hearing people with respect to HOH/LD or Deaf communities, or Americans learning of just about every other country/culture around, or any other privileged group taking the time to understand the rest of the world.
