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Petrified Forest Fan Club
Apr. 21st, 2010 11:35 pmThe old gang from Honey's former (and toxic) work environment had a last-minute get-together for dinner up the road. Honey had called me to ask if I wanted to join them, and naturally I said yes, so after a few emails going around, I was delegated to meet one of the older women at "our" house to give her a ride up to the restaurant.
This woman is in her 70s, looks like she's maybe in her 60s, and will never retire; she's Chinese American, with a large family of cousins, nieces, nephews, and her own three sons. She's always liked Honey, even after they shared an office together, and she's always liked me.
Naturally, I broke the news to her that Honey had moved out, and so on. She was surprised, flabbergasted, and then quite adamant that Honey needed to mature, to get over her problems, and that Honey would eventually find her way back. Now that she knows, all the rest of the rare gang will also know, and they will provide yet another safety net for Herself. They have known us for about 13 years, and if Helen is as careful as I think she will be, they will just start providing social reasons to be together, and provide loving support without letting Her know what they're doing.
Even if it doesn't work out as well as Helen would like to think, it was very helpful to hear her firmly pronounce that (in her opinion) I was doing the right things and that She would likely change her mind again.
One thing Helen pointed out is that Honey has never had to deal with severely painful events like grief before. I have, and that's helped me deal with the ongoing pain of this crisis; but I think she's right and Herself has never had to handle anything like this -- and that the combination of grief with menopause is driving her emotional escape attempts.
Helen told me to keep surrounding myself with friends, doing things for other people, and to wait, watch, and hope for Herself.
I can only hope that the members of the Petrified Forest Fan Club* will come through in the clutch.
I gave them that name after they were called "dead wood" by the Toxic Ones. They liked it.
This woman is in her 70s, looks like she's maybe in her 60s, and will never retire; she's Chinese American, with a large family of cousins, nieces, nephews, and her own three sons. She's always liked Honey, even after they shared an office together, and she's always liked me.
Naturally, I broke the news to her that Honey had moved out, and so on. She was surprised, flabbergasted, and then quite adamant that Honey needed to mature, to get over her problems, and that Honey would eventually find her way back. Now that she knows, all the rest of the rare gang will also know, and they will provide yet another safety net for Herself. They have known us for about 13 years, and if Helen is as careful as I think she will be, they will just start providing social reasons to be together, and provide loving support without letting Her know what they're doing.
Even if it doesn't work out as well as Helen would like to think, it was very helpful to hear her firmly pronounce that (in her opinion) I was doing the right things and that She would likely change her mind again.
One thing Helen pointed out is that Honey has never had to deal with severely painful events like grief before. I have, and that's helped me deal with the ongoing pain of this crisis; but I think she's right and Herself has never had to handle anything like this -- and that the combination of grief with menopause is driving her emotional escape attempts.
Helen told me to keep surrounding myself with friends, doing things for other people, and to wait, watch, and hope for Herself.
I can only hope that the members of the Petrified Forest Fan Club* will come through in the clutch.
I gave them that name after they were called "dead wood" by the Toxic Ones. They liked it.
